Don't let coaching turn into babysitting

ยท 4 min read

Do you remember the time you learnt how to ride a bike or a skateboard during your childhood? How many times did you fall, and then you had to swallow your pride and retry? I bet more than a dozen, right?

Did you stop trying because of your bruised knees or your muddy hands? Did you stop because of the laughs and the teasing of your friends? Definitely not!!

# An efficient coaching lesson

Your family tried to show you the way by adding supporting wheels, and then they removed them. They held your hand at first, and then they let you move alone. So you fell.

No matter what happened, they clapped their hands while trying to cheer you up, so you kept on trying.

And then you decided to try alone early in the morning or late in the night, without anyone watching, so they see you the next day and say: "Bravo, you 've made it"!!

All these failed attempts motivated you even more and pushed you to try harder. They taught you a bunch of new things and forced you to improve.

You worked your ass to make it happen, and eventually you 've made it. But then again you fell and you rised, and you fell a couple more times and at some point you stopped counting. You stopped falling. Success!! It tasted good, right?

Accomplishing goals tastes good after a hell of an effort

Your confidence increased, so then you decided to push your limits by learning how to swim or doing back-flips with your skate or even learning a new technology or becoming a team lead or starting your own business or getting married or becoming a parent and so on.

Challenges never stop. That's called life.

# Coaching today

Nowadays coaching and mentoring are in high demand in the fast-paced tech world. Organizations invest in young or less experienced people with potential, to help them grow and develop their talents.

In fact, the ability to learn and develop new skills, tends to become one of the most critical factors that might affect a candidate's decision to pick or reject an organization's offer.

# Efficient coaching

If we want coaching to succeed, we should not forget that young kid with the bruised knees, the dirty hands and the strong will. This is a great lesson we all learnt at a very young age, and it worked pretty well.

Efficient coaching is supposed to let people fall sometimes too. Coaching should prevent us from breaking a leg but should let us bruise a knee.

Falling is ok. Falling is actually required, so we learn how to rise. Preventing us from falling, is actually extremely harmful since it doesn't teach us what are our weaknesses or what things we have to change and improve.

Not falling is against the empirical way of mastering new skills. This is extremely counter-productive when it comes to coaching and mentoring.

# Conclusion

In order to make coaching successful, both sides should not confuse coaching with babysitting. Infants need our constant support to almost anything, so they survive. Coaching is all about growing though and not about surviving.

If we want to grow, we should ask for guidance and room to make mistakes, so we collect battle-tested experiences.

A professional environment where we can make mistakes and get wiser through them, is a healthy environment that makes us feel trusted.

Feeling trusted will motivate us to show up and bring the best version of ourselves every day in order to climb a higher mountain or go one mile further than yesterday. This is what coaching is all about.

Coaching is all about getting motivated to believe into ourselves and find the way to exceed our own limits and weaknesses, in order to achieve our high goals

That said, efficient coaching demands room to fall and rise, again and again. Cheers!!

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